old man

Today I was cutting through the BYU Bookstore to get to my bus stop. I glanced at the credit union stationed inside of it and noticed an armored truck guard walking out with a bag. Seeing the man a thought struck me, and I'm not sure that I should share it because I could get in trouble if someone acted on it. I am going to share this thought because it seemed quite funny to me at the time.

The Victim: The guard. He was well passed the age of retirement. He should have been home sitting on the front porch in a rocker reminiscing about the good ol' days. His back was hunched over, and his footsteps were very small shuffles.

The Crime: Steal money.Walk up to the guard, grab the bag, push him over and run.

The Motive: Easy money.

Would it be possible? I think so. Before he could even pull out his gun or radio (if he wasn't paralyzed from the fall), you could be outside of the Wilkinson Center walking like a normal student carrying a shoulder bag. Simply walk to your car (or steal one- you might as well go all the way, right? You did just push over an old man...) and drive to Mexico. I mean, it's BYU. No one would think that a person would push over a harmless old man and STEAL money from him. It's not that BYU students are above crime; it just rarely happens. That's why it would be possible

prophet of God

Two weeks ago Lisa and I went to the Salt Lake Temple to go through a session there. It was the first time either of us had been there. As we were walking out of the temple, there was an old painting of Joseph and Hyrum Smith. Lisa saw them and whispered, "Oh look! There's Joefus!" I stared at her and then she realized what she had done. She had called the prophet of the restoration "Joefus." She hurriedly whispered, "Don't tell anyone!"

The time has come to tell all. I know in the Old Testament that people who made fun of a prophet or called him names were eaten by bears or struck dumb. You know, some crazy way that God showed them to not mess with His main man on earth. And now my wife is saying these things. You may understand why I've given her a can of bear mace and told her not to talk for a while until things up above have settle down.

Disclaimer: She said "Joefus" because she has an adorable nephew that everyone calls "Joefus." I doubt any of his family even know how to say "Joseph" anymore...

auction

As I'm typing this, I'm eagerly watching the bid climb higher and higher on Lisa's MacBook that we're selling on ebay. I've never sold anything before, and this is quite exciting to watch it. The anticipation and suspense is great! I have to catch the bus about 5 minutes before the auction ends, and I think that I might injure the old and feeble trying to get on the bus as quickly as possible so I can check it out again.

I remember going to Salem Days and hearing the end of the auction that they do before the pageant. It seemed rather mild and not exciting. Then again, I was always sitting far away and couldn't actually see the bidding going on. This isn't anything like that. I'm riveted.

It's an interesting concept, this auction business. Put a bid down and a final amount, hoping to win the auction by paying more than the "other guy" while still saving money if bought elsewhere. Weird.

graphics

Last week I did a couples things for one of my classes in photoshop. Realizing I've never put anything on my blog that I've done, here they are. I made them for my major, TEE.

kentucky

3 days from my wife; terrible! Missing general conference; sinful! Flying out at 6 AM; unnatural!

It's going to happen this weekend. I guess I signed up for it over a year ago when I joined the leadership for Phi Eta Sigma (that's gibberish for Freshmen Honor's Society). Next time I should read the fine print that mentions those first three things before I sign up.

My plan:
1) Test the limits of unlimited texting as I sit in meetings missing my Lisa-girl.
2) Read conference.
3) Eat all the food on the airplane. That will show 'em...